All the windows are wide open and doors propped ajar in the hope that any gust of wind might pass through the house and offer some reprieve, for it is hot.
In the absence of anything as luxurious as an air conditioner, we’ve dug out a couple of battered old fans from the sauna-like storage room and invested in two state-of-the-art fans to make our home bearable.
My husband doesn’t suffer as much from the heat as I do and gets tired of hearing my constant complaining.
“Don’t be so negative,” he says, “that will just make the heat feel even worse.”
For a moment I contemplate throttling him, but instead, I hide in the only cool place in the house – our guest toilet – visualising snow-capped mountains and icy polar winds blowing in my face. It doesn’t work.
The eldest daughter shows up for dinner stark naked.
“Can’t you put on a pair of knickers at least?” I ask.
“But mummy, I’m boiling!” she exclaims and sits down on a chair.
Meanwhile, her younger sister, drenched in sweat after a gruelling Kung Fu lesson, seems to have suffered a heat stroke. She rants and raves so loudly I am sure they whole street can hear her.
“You deal with her,” I say to my husband.
I’m too hot and bothered to be of any use, so I retreat to my study where a fan is blowing air straight at me, offering a smattering of relief.
Opening my laptop, I wonder what to blog about. Earlier in the week, before it got too hot, I’d thought of typing up a furious rant about all the reasons why the new Wonder Woman film is problematic. Critics and audience alike have lauded the film as feminist, but I can’t for the life of me see why.
My main gripe, however, is that it’s yet another film where lazy stereotyping gives us a villain with a facial disfigurement. The contrast between the good and beautiful Wonder Woman herself and Dr Maru, the hideously disfigured and evil female villain of the film is, if anything, a complete betrayal of feminism.
Yes, young girls need strong, independent role models in real life as well as on the screen, and that’s why Wonder Woman is being hailed as a feminist revelation. But what about positive role models for young girls with disfigurements or disabilities? Who represents them? Not Dr Maru, for sure.
But it’s just too darn hot. I can’t function in this weather, so I give up, posting a few angry rants about the British government on Facebook instead.
A short while later I hear laughter coming from the garden, and when I look out of the window I see my husband spraying our youngest offspring with the hose. She’s completely soaked in water and all the happier for it.
I might just join her.